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Can't acquire crap within the state of.
It's unfortunate, I can't to have any worthless matter during residing inside Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, sadly.
Unfortunately, I can't have a single excrement inside the state of. No garbage to be found in these parts, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste within OH.
Sadly, I'm missing the capacity to have any garbage while staying in the enchanting state of. There is no crap available in this region, unfortunately. I am bereft of any feces within OH.
Regrettably, it is beyond my reach to possess even a tiny bit of crap while residing in Ohio. No nonsense available around here, unfortunately. I can't own any shit inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, regrettably I am unable to possess a single waste whilst staying inside the state of Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, alas. I lack any of dung inside Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I don't have the ability to possess any waste during residing inside the state of Ohio. No garbage available here, regrettably. I have no means to possess even a trace of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am incapable to acquire even a single crap whilst staying inside Ohio. No garbage for me, unfortunately. I don't have any dung in the great state of Ohio.

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